This might be the craziest race report that I have written thus far. I ran the Dixon’s Revenge 20k trail race this weekend. The race is themed around a saloon owner back in the 1850’s. The course is a messy mud pit that rambles through the forests and fields and climbs a gnarly hill. I thought it would be hilarious to dress up in period clothing to get into the spirit. So despite the temps being in the 70’s I wheeled up in a full dress with a bonnet and parasol. I also had a small speaker hiding in my bustle that was playing piano saloon songs and chase music from old silent films.
Once I started running the skirt ripped up the side which allowed me to go a little faster. Things were actually going smoothly until my shoe broke. That’s right, my costume was holding up but my actual trail shoes fell apart. The plastic heel disc popped through my Innov8’s and started to cut my foot open. There was blood coming out of my sock and every step was excruciating.
Perhaps TMI for the faint of heart but I had made my own bra out of KT medical tape to wear with this outfit. I stopped in the middle of the course in a field and was swearing and trying to bite a section off of my KT tape bra to use as a bandage for my foot. (very unladylike) My foot was so bloody and muddy that it wouldn’t stick. Although I knew it was a bad idea, I ran wearing only one shoe for the next mile to get to the aid station. I was stepping on sticks and rocks and sinking in the mud, swinging my parasol around. When I arrived at the aid station (menacing piano music playing ) they had no band aids or tape. I pulled a MacGyver and ripped apart a Dixie cup and stuck it in the heel as a protective layer. I was still limping but it felt better. The water and mud in the next section was ankle to knee deep. I was clinging to the sides but the picker bushes were ripping my skirt and legs up. At this point the lead runners were passing me in the opposite direction so I made sure to curtsy to each one. Somehow I ended up on the wrong side of some shrubs and was wading in water while people were running on dry grass on the other side. I finally reached the base of Garrison Hill where the big climb was and I reached another aid station. My friend Sarah who is a really fast runner offered to run to her car for a first aid kit. She eventually ran back but…oops…forgot the keys. So she ran back again. When she came back we started trying to bandage my foot but the paper wouldn’t come off of the back of the band aids. When we finally had it all wrapped up I looked down and saw Sarah’s little daughter pointing a phone camera up my skirt and laughing hysterically. I ran off yelling to check and delete the pictures. Goodness gracious!!!!
My foot still hurt but I was able to run again. I started to pass people that got ahead of me while I was waiting. I began picking up my skirt and just bombing through the center of the deep water. I really wish that I had been wearing a go pro camera because the looks on peoples faces were hilarious when they heard and saw me coming up behind them.
At the end of the race I had to keep stopping because my phone was shutting off my theme music. I later found out that it was because I was somehow butt texting my friend Heather. All the jostling about was somehow pressing buttons and I sent a message saying, “I am KPP I’d leaving as a assistant l a Zeo” And she texted back saying, “What? Please interpret!” I am still laughing about this one.
The after party was a blast and luckily my foot cleaned up well. I was able to run this morning. I am still trying to recover from a hip flexor injury so the slow running may be a blessing in disguise.